welcome! welcome! :3

leave this accursed place.

This is obv unfinished. Stars above help me.

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, unwrap toilet paper yet attack feet. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. Meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing spread kitty litter all over house yet sleep on keyboard cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog but push your water glass on the floor, you call this cat food chase dog then run away. Fight an alligator and win push your water glass on the floor catasstrophe ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail lick the curtain just to be annoying chew on cable hack up furballs and love fish yet it's 3am, time to create some chaos . Purr like an angel. Kick up litter being gorgeous with belly side up yet why can't i catch that stupid red dot pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now but flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower. Stare at ceiling light. Gate keepers of hell be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day or hack up furballs kitty loves pigs scratch me now! stop scratching me!. Somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock i could pee on this if i had the energy yet playing with balls of wool plan steps for world domination dream about hunting birds or funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you. If it fits i sits eat owner's food. Get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm. Hey! you there, with the hands stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together so try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall, chase laser.

Eats owners hair then claws head kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff. Hide when guests come over mouse. Poop on couch get scared by doggo also cucumerro so pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now leave fur on owners clothes hiss at vacuum cleaner eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner scoot butt on the rug. Claw drapes. Twitch tail in permanent irritation what a cat-ass-trophy! love to play with owner's hair tie or claws in the eye of the beholder or slap kitten brother with paw but sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor. One of these days i'm going to get that red dot, just you wait and see slap the dog because cats rule, so mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww or i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand, or more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting and you have cat to be kitten me right meow see owner, run in terror. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth love me!.

Kitty poochy. Sit on the laptop if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish but jump on fridge found somthing move i bite it tail, for refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Blow up sofa in 3 seconds bite the neighbor's bratty kid for i love cuddles while happily ignoring when being called yet meowing chowing and wowing so see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open pretend you want to go out but then don't wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) morning beauty routine of licking self, yet demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it or why must they do that. Go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail. Milk the cow purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good. Thinking longingly about tuna brine bite nose of your human. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box leave hair everywhere stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside. I like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk claws in the eye of the beholder so i shall purr myself to sleep i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better. Making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes scratch me there, elevator butt yet just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now but chase little red dot someday it will be mine!, so scratch me there, elevator butt, or meow meow, i tell my human and lasers are tiny mice. Eat fish on floor chase imaginary bugs, so eat the fat cats food for fart in owners food meowing chowing and wowing. Vommit food and eat it again lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back but groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep jump on fridge put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed jump off balcony, onto stranger's head. Mewl for food at 4am i am the best. Dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain this is the day , or i will ruin the couch with my claws love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring and love me! or tuxedo cats always looking dapper stare at imaginary bug bite plants. Meow to be let in. Claw drapes i like cats because they are fat and fluffy and scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me or shake treat bag eats owners hair then claws head meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat and sitting in a box. Poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree. Pet me pet me don't pet me oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap push your water glass on the floor i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo. Bite off human's toes cattt catt cattty cat being a cat. Cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? dead stare with ears cocked do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! or a nice warm laptop for me to sit on jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back, i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax so refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass. Purr when being pet human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! for hide head under blanket so no one can see and dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor.

- Cat Ipsum -

Rub my belly hiss swipe at owner's legs sniff catnip and act crazy growl at dogs in my sleep sit on the laptop for hiss at vacuum cleaner i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me.

Head nudges eat my own ears. Hey! you there, with the hands why can't i catch that stupid red dot, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff, or roll over and sun my belly curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels.